Momentous, humbling decisions
18th Sunday after Pentecost, October 16, 2011 (Exodus 33:12-23 with I Thessalonians 1:1-10 (bg)
At times we are faced with momentous decisions. They may begin when we are very young. Is this person trustworthy – could they be my friend? Is there enough time to cross the street safely? Or, shall I wait until there is more time? As we get older the decisions may have even greater impact on our lives and the lives of those we love. Shall I enter a trade or pursue post secondary education? Is this the person I shall live with/marry? Shall we seek to conceive children or not?
And then as we grow even older the decisions and questions we must answer continue: how shall I invest my earnings in order to have a retirement that is funded? What part of that is to be offered to charity, to God? What do I need? What is optional?
Of course there may be curves along the way. The loss of a job. The loss of a marriage. The contraction of a serious illness – cancer, heart disease, copd, multiple sclerosis. What then? How do you decide? Whom do you listen to? Whom do you trust? Where is God in all of that?
When I wrestle with such questions I often think of Abraham Lincoln who in the reality of the American Civil War is reported to have said, "I am often driven to my knees by the reality that there is no place else to go."
I think of momentous decisions often, because as a Pastor I get to listen into the wrestling of a number of people, as they must make decisions decide even when often there is no clear right or wrong, and certainly few if any guarantees of how the resulting action will turn out.
I particularly thought about these realities in the last 2 months as a 34 year old friend awaited a much needed liver transplant. His family all volunteered to be tested to see if they could be viable candidates to donate to him part of their liver.
Moses in today's Old Testament reading is facing a momentous decision. It's one thing to be responsible for one's own life's decisions and the subsequent consequences. But it's an entirely overwhelming thing to be responsible for the lives and well being of many others – perhaps hundreds and even thousands of people.
Yahweh (God, the LORD) had freed the people of Israel from the oppression of slavery in Egypt. Yahweh had been leading them through the wilderness towards a land they had been promised. But the people were often filled with doubt, resentment, a yearning for what they thought were the good old days. They had complained bitterly about lack of food, water – about the unknown length of time for the journey and the uncertainty of the destination. Yet God had provided – manna, water – everything they had needed.
God had also been present to them, if even only at a visible distance. The was the cloud and the pillar of fire. But all of that hadn't been enough for them. I wonder if God's provision is ever enough for us – or if we too doubt, complain, wander after other gods?
That's exactly what the people of Israel did. As Moses their leader had gone off on one of his relatively frequent forays to commune with God, to seek direction and guidance from Yahweh, the people yearned for something much more tangible to follow, go give their allegiance to, to cling to. They brought their gold, the very best of their possessions. Such offerings had been fashioned into a golden calf. Then they threw a party, dancing around that lifeless image. Forgetting God who had brought them so far they gave their allegiance, their loyalty to a thing that was so far, so utterly different from God, that it is almost incomprehensible.
God is not pleased. God had promised to accompany the people directly. So, there had been the pillar of fire and the cloud. But now God tells Moses that an angel, a divine messenger, will be dispatched to go before them. This is not convincing (a poor substitute?) for Moses.
Now, we are privileged to listen into the intense intimate conversation that ensues between God and Moses. To be sure Moses is very thankful that God will not destroy the people, nor completely abandon them because of their serious transgression. But, Moses needs to know, wants to know in no uncertain terms, that God will personally accompany them –otherwise all will be lost. Without God, they will not be a chosen people, or even a peculiar people. So Moses, makes demands of God. Go with us! Show me your ways. Show me your glory!
Amazingly God acquiesces - to some extent – BUT NOT COMPLETELY.
Moses doesn't realize what he is asking of God. If Moses were to actually see God's face, that is God's very essence, Moses couldn't handle it. NO HUMAN BEING COULD! And so God chooses to show Moses as much of God's glory as Moses can handle. Moses is placed in the cleft of a rock where he can't see God directly. Only after God has completely passed by is Moses allowed to peer out from his cleft perspective and see what the Hebrew says beautifully, is the "backside" of God.
There is something profoundly amazing, wonderful, beautiful and mystical here. Despite the people's sin, in the midst of the consequences of their sin – GOD CHOOSES NOT TO ABANDON THE PEOPLE. God is merciful and gracious to those people, stubbornly keeping God's promises of giving them a land. Despite their sin, God still loves them. God no longer travels with them as directly as God once did. But God does not abandon God's care of them.
I wonder about this in the midst of our lives – of the global crises: economic, environmental; of times when we have either lost our collective souls to consider and act on behalf of others and those who come after us in order to worship the gods of consumerism, apathy, anomie. What are the consequences of our living in these ways? Where is God?
Do we dare speak to God as frankly as Moses does? Do we have the courage, the faith to listen to how God responds?
The other profundity here has to do with faith. Faith is not knowing as in being able to prove to someone else who doesn't see or will not trust. Here, faith in God is about trusting enough to actually follow God's direction. For Christians this is about being guided somehow by the Spirit of God, a Spirit that cannot be nailed down, explained or even often understood. Yet, that Spirit blows into our lives. As we are directed and sometimes obey the guidance of this Spirit – sometimes even in retrospect we are allowed to see that it is indeed God who has been and is leading. In such moments we realize that God is gracious and merciful to us.
Part of human life is making momentous decisions. We must not run from them. We can use all the resources God places in our paths: science, the experience and wisdom of gifted people in any and all particular fields. But before and after any of that, may we like Moses consult God, realizing that God is THE ONE who loves us, makes us, and desires the best for the whole world. We see these qualities of God in the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ our Lord.
As we so listen may we then act boldly. By God's grace through our actions may some others see our labour of love, our work of faith and yes even our steadfastness of hope. How good and gracious it would be to reflect even the smallest smidgeon of the love of Christ Jesus our Lord! Who knows – in such living, there may be healing for us and for others! Amen.