Questions - A FIERCE FAITH?
20th Sunday after Pentecost, October 14, 2012
Texts: Job 23:1-9, 16-17; Hebrews 4:12-16 and Mark 10:17-31
Preaching primarily on OT text with the 2nd lesson in the bg
Do you ever argue with someone else I mean really get into it about your experience, your understanding of life, the differences you have with that person? How does such arguing go? Some of how that goes may depend on the respect, love, and ability you have to hear the other person. If there is actual "listening" going on in an argument, then both people, both groups may learn more about life, about oneself, about the other.
I once knew an older couple, let me call them Frank and Marie. They claimed that they had never had an argument in 53 years of marriage. Wow!? But later I learned why this was so. Frank never really told Marie what he thought or felt. He simply nodded or remained stoned face as she made her point or said what she wanted to do. And I wonder now, what kind of marriage is that? In some ways it's "easy" but it's certainly not honest. Nor do the two people in the marriage ever really get to see the other person for who he or she is. I did learn later that Frank's thoughts and feelings came out very strongly in some other places in his life.
So, let me ask you this. Do you ever argue with God? I mean, do you ever really get into it with God, questioning, debating, wondering, even doubting? If not, why not? If you do, please know that you are not alone. You are in the good company of a number Psalmists, the disciple Peter, and this interesting Old Testament character Job.
I have had some significant disputes and questions with God that arise when I don't understand what is happening, when I am unable to cope with the pain or the struggle of life and death. And this isn't just about me...
One Labor Day weekend a 5 year old neighbor girl, Audree, was playing in her own backyard. Supposedly she was safe. I mean there was a fence around her yard, everybody in that block knew her and liked her. But the next door neighbor was cleaning his rifle that day, in his basement. And somehow, seemingly inexplicably that rifle discharged. The bullet went through the basement window, through the fence and struck Audree, killing her instantly. That in and of itself is tragic enough. But to add to the overall misery and pain Audree's older brother had died some years before that at the age of 12 after being struck in the temple by a baseball in a pick up baseball game. How much can one family endure? And the father of these 2 children had spent the last years working at his own recovery from alcoholism.
I had to ask God from the midst of my own pain as one of those who knew and loved this family WHY? HOW COME? WHAT NOW? WHERE ARE YOU? The pain, some 40 years later remains in my heart and I can't imagine how deeply in Audree's siblings hearts.
Then there was the young mother of 3 daughters, one being only a baby. Let me call this mother Joan. The family had just returned from a wonderful Disneyland Holiday. And suddenly Joan was filling very ill. She, being a nurse, knew something was seriously wrong. She had herself taken to the Emergency Room. There she was diagnosed with acute leukemia, her cancer markings through the roof. She was air evacuated to a much larger center where she remained in treatment for most of the next year separated by and large from her 3 precious daughters. There were only 2 matching bone marrow donors found in North America for Joan. And for a fairly long time neither one was willing to donate for her. Eventually one changed his mind. And Joan was given a new lease on life. BUT THIS LASTED 4 YEARS, at which time she suddenly became ill and died, leaving a 5 year old, a 12 year old and a 14 year old, along with a devastated husband.
How long oh God? Why? And Job's question raises itself to God in the midst of ALL SUCH PAIN where are you GOD?
We may at such times wish to resign ourselves as Job does in today's text just let me be let the darkness of despair overcome me, let me die...
Some of those feelings arose this week, when I hear of Amanda Todd or Malala or the man that came into my office with cancer in his lung after a year's worth of treatment of cancer in his throat.
Today we meet Job a man who has done nothing wrong. Nevertheless he loses everything: his wife, his children, his fields, his animals. There is no rhyme nor reason that he can see to such great loss. Then when he most needs his friends, someone he can depend upon, they tell him it all must somehow be his fault. If he would just admit his wrongdoing and ask God for forgiveness, everything will be alright. So they say. And how is that? His wife and children are dead.
What amazes me in all of this isn't Job's exasperation with his friends, or even his anger and frustration with God. What is amazing, even miraculous and what is miraculous is that Job keeps talking with God, arguing, demanding. Even though he doesn't feel God, can't somehow "find" God, he keeps talking to God. He doesn't give up on hoping that somehow God will come to him, approach him, make God's self known to him.
Dear people the trials and vicissitudes of life come to us, swirl around us in so many ways. Do not ignore them, nor deny them. Such attempts at denial are undertaken at our own peril.
These trials and vicissitudes, can sweep us off our feet, suck the air from our lungs and move us to wonder does God care, does God even exist? This reality, far removed from Thanksgiving and such songs as "This Little Light of Mine" is also part of human reality attempting to actually live in the midst of good and evil, birth and death, joy and suffering.
But also know this we live later in the story of history than when Job's story is first told. We live on the side of history where Jesus has suffered and died. Somehow, mystically and really God enters into our suffering, even though at times we may not be able to "see" or "feel" God.
I am convinced that this is one of the reasons that God sends God's Spirit among us as community. When we individually or collectively lose our faith, our sense of hope in God, there are others who can still sense, who can still see, who remember and continue to sing the songs. Then it is through them that God's Spirit continues to speak and to eventually lead us out of the pit of despair and woe to new life.
Bonhoeffer, that now famous German Lutheran pastor, who dared to stand up against Hitler with a death plot even though that was against his fundament conviction that killing is evil writes this from his prison cell where he stands condemned to death: "In a world of suffering only a suffering God can help."
It is not morally wrong to sometimes argue with God, to refuse to accept suffering passively. As Job demonstrates such questioning and arguing becomes a fierce act of faith.
May God give us when we need such, a fierce faith, both for Christ's sake and the sake of the world. Amen.