Seeing - A Living Confession
(John 20:19-31, Easter 2a14, April 27, 2014-04-27
A woman once lived in a nursing home. This letter was found in her locker after she died by a staff person who thought her incapable of writing...
"What do you see nurses, what do you see?
A crabbit old woman, not very wise;
Uncertain of habit with far away eyes.
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try."
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still, As I rise at your bidding; as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of 10 with a father and mother; brothers and sister who love one another.
A bride soon at 20, my heart gives a leap, remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At 25 now I have young of my own, who need me to build a secure happy home.
At 50 once more babies play round my knee; again we know children my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead. I look to the future, I shudder with dread.
My young are all busy rearing young of their own.
And I think of the years and the love that I've known.
I'm an old woman now and nature is cruel. 'Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body it crumbles, grace and vigour depart.
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells;
And now and again my battered heart swells. I remember the joys; I remember the pain.
And I'm living and loving all over again. And I think of the years all too few – gone too fast and accept the stark fact that nothing will last.
So, open your eyes, nurses, open and see; Not a crabbit old woman, look closer, see me! (Pause)
What do we see today?
I see some amazing things. Just last night I saw a group of young people and older people eating together working to feed and be fed so that those younger ones might go to a youth gathering where they can sing and dance and perhaps also see God right there in their midst. I see on this "low Sunday" we who are today here, gathered to hear the living word of God, taken from accounts and stories first shared nearly 2000 years ago, but ever alive. I see ongoing kindnesses of so many – thank you cards slipped under my door or placed in my mailbox, some of you making dinners for others, calling regularly to check up – giving of yourselves so that others may live in thought, word and deed. And I give thanks as I see.
At the same time I also see disturbing things: far away and close to home. There is the unrest in the Ukraine – the battles in the Central African Republic where atrocities are being committed. I see my Jewish friends today commemorating the Holocaust and I wonder how we as human beings can do such horrible things to one another?
I see all these things through the lens of my eyes and faith – the eyes and faith of a privileged well off white male, nearing his senior years.
And I wonder, what do you see in the midst of your living?
Do you see God in the middle of all of this? Do you see God as having any power in the middle of all of this – even in and through you?
Would life be any easier if we could actually see God with our eyes, touch God with our hands, audibly hear God's voice, speaking distinctly clear directions in our ears? What do you think?
I'm not so sure. Thomas thought that he could trust God only if he could just see that the crucified Jesus was actually now alive. Actually, Thomas required more than that. Thomas wasn't sure about his buddies. They were prone to enthusiasm – not always trustworthy or level-headed. There was Peter who had said that he would NEVER DENY Christ. Then Peter denied Jesus three times. There were James and John who attempted to engineer their own sweet heart deal with Jesus when and if he came into his kingdom. There had also been Judas. I think you know about Judas. Who could blame Thomas for being more than a bit suspicious about these guys supposed Jesus "sighting"?
But then somehow, in the midst of all of this, Jesus appears to Thomas. "Peace", Christ says.
I wonder what kind of "peace" this is? On the one hand, Jesus saying "PEACE" to all of the disciples after he has been raised from the dead is good news indeed. It's certainly good news for Peter, James and John. Each of them had in their own ways abandoned Christ. He isn't holding a grudge. He still loves them. He accepts them. And He is risen! He is speaking to them, "Shalom, peace". This means, "Well being to you and yours" – well being in mind, body and spirit. Yes, "Peace" Jesus says.
But He doesn't just leave them there. He refuses to leave them behind their locked doors of fear. Nor does He leave them to luxuriate by themselves in His love. Rather, He empowers them to go out from that room, to live their lives following Him. In the first encounter with those disciples after His death He says, "As the Father has sent me, so I send you." Then He breathes on them saying, "Receive the Holy spirit. If you forgive the sins of any they are forgiven them. If you retain the sins of any, they are retained."
On that second appearance to the disciples Jesus says to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt, but believe"...
We don't know whether Thomas actually touched Jesus or not. But we do know that Thomas is moved beyond his questions and doubts, perhaps even through them to trusting Jesus with his life! Thomas confesses his faith, "My Lord and my God".
This is no fleeting confession, given in the heat of the moment. Tradition tells us that later Thomas travelled to India, to proclaim the good news of Jesus in word and deed. But such proclamation costs Thomas. Tradition tells us that Thomas is martyred. He has come to see Christ's call upon his life for the world. Thomas strives to love as Christ loves, to serve as Christ serves, all everyone. For all of that he is executed, this Thomas.
So, what/whom do we see? Would we like Thomas wish to see Jesus? Be careful! Christ may well give us his peace, but his is not the kind of peace that allows us to sit back and do nothing. Christ's peace causes us to see much – the wonder, the beauty, the majesty, the awe, the wondrous mystery of life. Christ's peace also causes us to see the horror, the ugliness, the greed and selfishness, the power of death and poverty in their many manifestations.
We are to see, not for our own selfish interest but in order that we might live and serve Christ. We are to daily receive the Spirit of God. We are sent into the world with this Spirit, to reflect the light of Christ, even when it isn 't so clear what we are to do.
At times we are blind. Yet God in Christ through the Holy Spirit enlighten us with wisdom and courage, even a peace that passes understanding moving us like a powerful wind from behind our locked doors of fear, misunderstanding, stereotypes to interactions with others, that listens and then advocates with and for others. Therein is the peace that passes understanding, for its source is in the One who loves the world.
What are we seeing? Whom will we see? God help us in our living confessions for Christ's sake. Amen.